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As computing increases in importance in an ever more connected world, it becomes essential for the children of the world to have access to one of the critical tools that make this world possible: my genius. I mean, let’s be frank: I’m basically smarter than the next fifty smartest humans put together, and it would be criminal to hoard the benefits of my massive, veiny, throbbing brain all to myself and the wealthy elite. With that in mind, I have decided to make Mathematica — which only I could have developed and which is listed at many thousands of dollars per copy (and, really, a steal at twice the price given how infused it is with my unique brilliance) — free to all Raspberry Pi users. Sure it’ll be slow as shit. But think of it this way, even if you had like one ten millionth of my brain available to use, that could make the difference between you begging in the street and you being like a stockbroker or financial… guy… or something. Man, and I have to carry the whole thing around all the time! I’m surprised it doesn’t set off alarms at airport security checkpoints it’s so freakin’ powerful.